Accepting that I gave myself permission to do something terrible is what causes me to resist change. It’s easier to continue justifying bad behavior than it is to change that behavior because it means admitting that what I’m doing is indeed terrible. My ability to normalize dysfunction is challenged by taking responsibility for my choices. It’s a skill I need to abandon because it is extremely damaging. The challenge now is to remove all distractions and reminders of who I used to be, someone who normalizes dysfunction and walk in the light of who I am now, someone who takes responsibility for my choices.
It’s not easy to face my failures but they’re just as much a part of my story as my successes. I’ve learned how to admit my mistakes without losing sight of my opportunity to create hope for someone else who may be struggling to escape their bad habits. I am a living example of the grace of God and His power to grant me access to a new world if I allow Him to renew my mind. I no longer misuse the power of my will to give myself permission to disobey God’s will. I accept and understand now that God has always had my best interest at heart and He will always be the one I can count on no matter what. I make better choices so I won’t make His job harder than it needs to be. In the long run, I’ve come to know that whatever is done outside of God’s will will never be profitable. I accept the truth of who I am. I’ve made mistakes. There will be other times when I don’t “get it right” but it’s never too late to stop and ask God which way to go. He is the one who opens and closes doors so I strive for excellence in all I do and go forth in my truth.